your makeup bag is trying to kill you.

ewwwww. sick.

i hope you've had your morning coffee (and does that thing that morning coffee tends to do) and you're feeling nice and dandy this morning because i don't want you getting sick and making a scene running to the bathroom across your office.

do you know how often you're supposed to get rid of makeup?? it's like... ALL THE TIME. do people really go through their makeup before they're even supposed to get new stuff?? i know i don't... i have FAR too much of it to go through it at these rates!!

so this little article i found about how long products last (which, FIRST OF ALL, is poorly titled because it was just posted and it's called "Spring Cleaning for Your Makeup Bag" and it's Fall. And the season's aren't like time zones, right?? i mean everyone's in Fall now... well, everyone in this hemisphere. And this doc lives in Cali. so THERE. i shall rename this article, "Falling Away from Germs: Fall Cleaning from Your Makeup Bag." BOOM SHAKALAKA.)

soooo i begin again, this article give some time lines for our favorite products... and i just don't know if i 100% agree on them...

• Powders and pencils last the longest, so you can keep them for a year. Pencils should be sharpened each time you use them, for a fresh surface.

Well I agree that they can be kept the longest, but only a year? time flies when you're having fun, and a year can come and go rather quickly these days... i say, as long as the pencil or powder has the same consistency (soft like it's supposed to be soft, or powdery if it's supposed to be powdery) that it's always had, you're good to keep it. IF and WHEN you have to push your eyeliner so hard into your skin to make a line, then it's time to say GOODBYE.

• Liquid foundation and concealers can start to separate (and germs prefer to grow on moist surfaces), so discard them after six months.

UM. if this were the case then why do they give you like TWO YEARS WORTH in every pot of concealer or bottle of foundation??? i say use it until you lose it- unless it starts to smell funny.

• Lipstick and lip gloss should also be changed after six months (sooner if you've had a recent cold sore). Always wipe off the top of the lipstick/lip gloss after using it.

are we talking regular lipstick/glosses? or like... fun ridiculous colors that you wear once, see yourself in pictures from that night and decide to save for halloween...??? because i think that six months is a wee bit aggressive (save for this cold sore scenario) and that again, if it doesn't smell like your grandmother's makeup- you're probably not going to die from it.

• Mascara should be tossed after three months.

OK. AGREED. why? because every time you use mascara you're pumping air into the tube and that dries out the mascara inside the tube that you have yet to use. you know how great and smooth and easy to apply NEW mascara is?? well, let's all enjoy that little moment of pure bliss MORE and change our mascara more often.

I love the CoverGirl LashBlast Mascara and since it's at the drugstore, we can all afford to change it every three months! yessssssss. (and pretty please DON'T get waterproof.)

• If you use brushes for your blush or foundation, make sure you wash them at least once a week. It's more hygienic, and it'll help your makeup look smooth and flawless.

once a WEEK? ok, i'm going to plead the fifth on this one because i just don't know... i know i don't do it enough, but once a WEEK?? i'll wash 'em today and see if tomorrow i have "smooth and flawless" application... (kinda doubt it, but we'll see).

HAPPY FALL CLEANING! enjoy the leaves and germs as they fall from the sky.