work FAIL

uuughhhhh i HATE winter skin!

my face gets all dry and flaky because of the moisture-wicking artificial heat PLUS i get wind burn on my cheeks, and because of all the extra moisturizing i'm doing my skin breaks out!!!

it's a lose lose (and one more lose for you, jim halpert) situation.

i don't have a remedy for it, i just wanted to vent.

i took the worst work ID badge picture known to man today.

i was super-over-prepared for my badge picture the first day of work... but the machine was down.

FINE i said... i'll just do the whole routine again tomorrow.

and the badge-maker decided to take yet ANOTHER day off to be on the fritz...

so then today, the first day that i just rolled out of bed and caked on more makeup to the point that i was aware of how spidery my eyelashes looked....

.... was the day i got the email saying i needed to go take my badge picture.

great.

overhead lighting creating the worst of the worst shadowing..... ughhhhh.

i wish i had tips on how to stop making MYSELF look less LESS attractive (was that use of a double negative correct??? ohhhh grammar, i both love and loathe you), but this was a big fat FAIL on my part.

when i got back to my desk and obligingly showed my co-workers i said that i looked like a fat kid who just ate a box of twinkies.

and they didn't disagree!!!!

but that's not even the worst part...

it's that i've been craving twinkies ever since.

picture perfect

OK, get excited. This is one of the BEST tips and tricks EVER.

Drum roll please...........................................................................

THE 3/4 RULE!!! One of THEE most flattering angles in pictures, very easy to do, you eliminate "fat face," as my roommate calls it, and basically it makes taking a GREAT picture EVERY time totally possible!!

The Theory:

When taking a picture, you want to turn your head to the side so that 3/4 of one side of your face and just 1/4 of the other side is facing the camera. Both eyes should still be visible (if you can't see your back eye in the picture, you've turned your head too far), and VOILA!

You instantly elongate your face by drawing the eye from forehead to chin, rather than from cheek to cheek. Did you just loose 10 lbs? I think so! Also, most people have slightly asymmetrical features, which this totally camouflages.

Examples:

from straight on, to 3/4


mmm, good wine... I mean, much better at 3/4


even blondes can do 3/4!


3/4 from the side and over the shoulder... either shoulder!

• Another BIG no no is pulling your chin to your chest, thus creating a double chin. I know that sounds obvious, because who in their right mind wants to CREATE a double chin, but when people get nervous in front of the camera it's a reflex that happens more often than it should (um, never!?!) in an effort to look cute and comfortable.
  
  Make sure you pull your chin out (not UP but OUT) away from your neck, and guess what?? Master it and no one will think you're imitating a chicken in pictures!! Seriously! It just creates a greater shadow under your chin, and BAM! Lost another 3 lbs.
  
  
• One last surprisingly flattering angle that will to eliminate those always unflattering self-taken photos, is instead of holding the camera directly out in front of you, hold it straight up in the air. This way, you are looking up at the camera, enabling you to peek out from under your lashes, with the bulk of your face diminishing as it gets further away from the camera, making what used to be the WORST angles one of the best: not only slimming, but a little flirty!
  
  
• This one I know Tyra Banks says, but I SWEAR I was said it first: smile with your eyes.
  
  Sounds crazy, right? However, a lot of people raise their eyebrows in pictures. This just changes how you look, rather than smiling with your eyes, which actually enhances how you look.
  
  To practice smiling with your eyes, look in the mirror and smile with JUST your mouth, as if the rest of your face is dead (your smile will probably look a little creepy) then keeping your smile in place, smile with the rest of your face, as if you're really HAPPY- smile with joy- and you should be smiling with your eyes!
  
  Remember, it's OK if your eyes get smaller when you smile! That's what's supposed to happen!! It's more important to look HAPPY!
  

Now, like every other skill, taking a perfect picture takes practice. Don't be shy!! Go stand in front of your mirror and find some poses that work for you!

What's your better side?? Can you raise one eyebrow but not the other? Does one side of your smile get bigger than the other? (Did you know those are true for me??!) Which side to you part your hair on? These are all things to think about.

Then, when you get in front of the camera, remember your tricks, but mostly HAVE FUN- because that will always come across as beautiful- but if you can have fun AND remember these tricks?? You'll look like a supermodel.

thanks to my supermodel friends, Ry and Gabs.