become a tan-in-a-can fan

so with the end of summer, comes the end of sunning ourselves outside. i, for one, will sorely miss basking in the glow of the hot summer sun for hours on end, drinking bloody marys and mimosas on our back porch... or in dupont circle... or on the skydeck... or at chet and adam's pool... or... is it just me or am i an alcoholic?? (don't answer that, mom.)

anyway, the only kind of addiction i'm aware of (achem, will admit to) is being a sunoholic. if you're addicted to SWEET SWEET VITAMIN D like i am, it's time to realize that youth is fleeting, tanning beds are SOOO 1999, and self-tanners are just so freakin' quality now that it's time to switch from the fake-n-bake to tan-in-a-can.

(and can we all just reflect on how happy we are science is taking time out of it's busy cancer-fighting schedule to come up with all these amazing new products?? i've said it before, and i'll say it again: thank you science, thank you.)

so, i've ixnayed the anningtay edbay for two winters now. that's right, i've forgone UVA and UVB rays for 1/4 of two consecutive years. where's my prize? oh, that's right. crows feet 3.5 months later than all you other year-round tannerexics. (i'm still working on my summer-sun addiction. i'll come around, i will… eventually.)

ok. so i've decided that my favorite, HANDS DOWN, drugstore brand when it comes to faux tanning products is L'Oreal. I love their tanning towellettes.

They are SUPER easy to use. One towel does your whole body, so you never end up too orange or streaky.

I always start with my chest and shoulders then do my legs from the feet up, then my arms, then my back, then my tummy (kind of my skin, in order of appearance). The towelettes are the juiciest (like I sidestepped the need for the word moist?... whoops) in the beginning, which is why I start where I want the most color. Before it feels completely dried up, I make sure to do a quick swipe on my face, but definitely don’t start with that because this product is only marketed for the body… but I’ve never had an adverse reaction. It dries really quickly, so you don’t have to wait around in your bathroom for any more time than it takes to apply! I’ve also never seen it in any color but medium, but I’ve seen this color look great on people of lots of different skin tones.

The first L’Oreal self tanning product I ever purchased (and kept me coming back for more) was the bronze tinted self-tanning lotion, which I love because you get a little darker and slightly sparkly when you apply it, so I would always use it after I got out of the shower the night OF an event. This way, your skin’s a little sparkly, and you just get more and MORE tan as the night goes on. Obvious downside is that if you do a sloppy job applying it (can you say preformal sophomore year??) you can get streakier and streakier as the night goes on, because this product has the consistency of a thin lotion, so, it will streak if you don’t apply it evenly. However, since it’s bronzed, you can see where you’re applying it, so it’s not hard to keep if from streaking.

Now, I’ve never been one to do something halfway… so when I tried this last weekend it instantly became my new JAM: the L’Oreal bronzer self-tanning lotion, which takes “a little sparkly” to the next level… so, I guess that would be, “legit sparkly.” I was instantly tan and sparkled all night… downsides were that it took a little longer to dry and when I was sweating at the gym the next day, it totally pooled at my elbows and came off on my towel… but that’s to be expected to a certain extent with tan-in-a-can lotions.

if you’re more about using a daily lotion that builds your tan gradually, but doesn’t have insta-bronzers that will embarrass you at the gym, my mom turned me on to nivea build a tan lotion. It comes out a golden color, works really well, and smells a lot better than other tanning lotions I’ve tried… but still a wee little bit like a tanning lotion.

we'll talk about getting spray tanned later... that's a whole 'nother ball game.

so, if you're like most people who look better with a tan (there are VERY few marcia crosses or dita von teeses out there) then go get some products and have yourself a few naked hours in your bathroom so that you don't have to get the pale winter blues this year!!

and guess what else tan-in-a-can is great for? pretending to be tan in allllllll those places you NEVER get tan. goodbye cellulite, hellllllllo tan ass. slip something risque and enjoy it! your ass won't be this tan until... next winter!