I got a stupid parking ticket. I parked my car on this specific street because it wasn't going to be cleaned until Wednesday (in DC each street is cleaned once per week and you can't be parked there for that two hour period) and when I checked the sweeping times on the sign after I parked, I was extremely surprised for it to read that the cleaning would be from 9:30 PM until 11:30 PM.That's kinda late for the sweeper trucks to be rumbling down the roads- especially when all the other streets are cleaned in the early morning or afternoon... but whatevs, maybe there are sweeper people who are night owls, like me!?!? The sign said it, so I believed it.
LIKE.A.CHUMP.
So Wednesday at 9:18 PM I leave my vegetables roasting in the oven (which is DELICIOUS, p.s. and totally my new jam) while I run out to my car to move it, like the good Samaritan I am.
AND I SEE THAT I'VE GOTTEN A TICKET.
Because apparently, as stated on the ticket, street cleaning was Wednesday from 9:30 AM to 11: 30 AM. AM. As in.... Wait... what DO AM and PM stand for?? No time to google, moving on...
"LIIIEEEESSSSS!" I cry out into the night.
But then I go look at the sign, and I see that it has VERY CAREFULLY been altered by some mischevious vandal with a laser printer, an exacto knife and clear packing tape. WTF???
Who would do this?? This isn't a prank you anxiously watch happen from your window or catch on video and put on YouTube. This is just mean... or pointless, I can't decide which. Either way, I'm the sucker.
In any case, I'm OBVIOUSLY contesting it. In DC there are two ways to contest it: by mail, or in person.
Guess which I'm going to do? That's right, in person.
Why? Because I can wear a smart outfit to help me win my case (and bring way too many pictures from the scene of the crime).
When you need to look smart and in control- remember to layer! Your outfit instantly looks more polished and thus you look more thoughtful...aka, smart!What I will be wearing?
- Dark grey slacks with a nice crease down the front (to emphasize that I take care of my clothes and would NEVER park in a street sweeper spot intentionally, Your Honor)
- with a skinny black belt through the loops
- with a pretty blouse (it never hurts to look feminine) tucked in.
- I'll be bringing a blazer, but if I start sweating (nerves, you know?) I will take it off and drape it over my arm.
- A short, chunky beaded black necklace to tie in the belt and shoes
- which will be inch, inch and a half black heels, probably with gold accents,
- and gold studs in my ears.
- Hair pulled back (I know I know we women like to wear our hair down once we've put so much energy into blow drying etc. to it, but wearing it back makes you look more serious)
- and if I had glasses, I'd definitely go with glasses. smartSMARTYSMARTER!
- Black bag, though it could be a more fun color as long as the bag is structured- this is not the time for your new jewel tone hobo bag with fringe.
I'll let you know how it goes.
I got a parking ticket yesterday!!! Weird!
ReplyDeleteyou know, im thinking those vandals might actually have done you - and any of your neighbors who would also choose to contest the ticket in person - a small favor; in disguise of course.
ReplyDeletein addition to the carefully planned - and undoubtedly stunning - outfit you've described here, which is certainly a good way to be respectable in court and win over sympathetic judges, you also have actual grounds for appeal - that the sign literally showed 'PM' instead of 'AM' and essentially was a vandalized trap. I would think, and hope, that a reasonable judge would recognize that and decide not to penalize you for having been tricked.
and a little advice from the male perspective ... ;) ... it might also help settle your case if you leave a button or two on the blouse undone (if the judge is male of course; if it's a woman - button up!) and make sure the pant's you're wearing are 'form-fitting' and that the judge can notice they are. keepin everything classy, of course.
sex sells. always has and always will.
so true, so true. but of course i'll keep it classy, i always do! if the judge gives me grief, i'm going to quote you!!
ReplyDelete