makeup & hair x 3

OK.

WOW.

trying to get a job is a LOT more time consuming than having a job!! (ok, maybe, sometimes... depending on the job)

i mean, i've gone on at least one interview or meeting for the past three days- and i don't know what's more exhausting, the actual chit chat and selling myself... or ALL THE GETTING READY!

geeze! i've had to have perfect (yet not over the top) makeup and prim and proper hair three days in a ROW!

now, i don't know about y'all, but when i'm acccctually working, there are a couple days during the week i could care LESS about my hair and makeup.

so this constant cycle of getting ready to a T has truly tuckered me out!! annnnd i have two interviews tomorrow... heeerrreeee we go again!!!

i don't have any tips or tricks right at the moment, but i hope everyone's working on their halloween costumes!!!



good choice katie. won't be as good as my parents' costumes... but very relevant nonetheless.

i can't wait to make a post with pics from this epic halloween with the fam in ATL!!!

lock it up you li'l bit

ummmm WHY ohhhh dear god WHHHYYYYY would Miley Cyrus' little sister, Noah, be allowed out in public, nay ATTEND AN EVENT, dressed like a child witch-hooker???!?!?

i think Billy Ray Cyrus (her FATHER) missed an important life lesson moment, when he could explain the saying

nobody's going to buy the cow if they can get the milk for free.

ummmm YEAH.

and not to mention anyone who wants to buy this "cow" would end up BEHIND BARS.

ewwwwwwwwwww. gross.

[[[shudddder]]]. ok, moving on! SMYLA takeaway? sometimes it's wwaaaayyyyy better to cover up a little to up the sexy intrigue rather than just showing it all off.

DUH, right??!!? it's an old lesson, but nonetheless a MOST important one!

and why is it that the people showing WAY TOO MUCH off are often the ones who REALLY need to lock it up the most!??! jeepers creepers!

p.s. i think it's simply fabulous that there's real kids fashion out there now, so if a child has a true interest in it, they can express themselves by throwing on a tiny fedora or a great pair of li'l boots! ummm Kingston Stefani-Rossdale anyone?!?!?!

ahhhh isn't he just precious and totally SUPAHFLYYY??!!! loves!

the doctor is in

"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go."

- Dr. Seuss


from Oh, the Places You'll Go!

**the last line is really, "guy," not, "one," but i think it's better this way. i edit famous text. deal wit it.

fifty f...fun years young

it's my dad's birthday today. he's probably just like the BEST.DAD.EVER. seriously, there are so many times i'm telling people about my dad, and they're just like, WOW, he sounds amazing.

and he is.

he may not know all the SMYLA rules, but he's the best dad(dee) ever.

here are some pics from when we went to vegas last year. why these pictures look so vintage? oh, don't worry, that's just because they were taken on a disposable camera. nbd.

we stayed at the red rock casino and resort. balllllleerrrrr.

we hiked up red rock canyon and saw the calico basins. subway picnic? ooookkkkaaayyyyy.

did we take the dam tour? dam right. those dam jokes never got old... though they're really not as funny in print.... hmmmm... dually noted.

AND DID WE GO SKYDIVING??!!?????!?!?!??! that's right people. best father daughter trip ever. i got him to go by calling him an old man. then that old man jumped out of the plane first and showed me how it's done.

happy birthday pop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hairspray, hair spray, hairs pray

GOOD MORNING BALLLLTIMOOOOORREEE!!!!!

ok, not THAT hairspray.

so hair spray is one of those beauty tools that people are either really scared of, and thus don't even own, or own it and use it incorrectly.

hair should MOVE it should look like it's soft to the touch... hell, it should BE soft to the touch!!

and hair spray can actually be your friend and help make this possible! i sweeeaaarrrrr!

the new flexible hold hair sprays are not your grandmother's hairsprays that kept her hair looking like an easter egg on her head, they really just make your hair stay where you want it to stay, while still allowing it to move and be touseled...

mmmm, vegas. how i miss you so.

ok, point is, get a flexible hold hair spray in an aerosol can (the kind that goes shhhhhh not spritz spritz), and before you go out for an evening on the town, lift sections of your hair and spray it at the roots- providing lift all night if you have fine hair like i do, and/or just mist it all over and smooth hair down, so that no matter the weather you won't get frizzy fly-aways.

if you are using hairspray to give you crispy, crunchy, won't move a millimeter hair, then you're using the stuff alllll wrong.

and if you've never seen this guy sing and dance, you're living life alllll wrong.

mmmmm, zac efron. you are the only person who can pull off that much gel.

loves it / hates it

love that halle berry proves she's not preggers by looking smokin' hott.

hate that because high wasted jeans are making a comeback people might think these are OK...

if you are wearing these, you're adding bulk to your lower tummy area, and creating all the wrong proportions!! stop making yourself less attractive by getting a DARK WASH great fitting pair jeans, first and foremost, and then the most universal flattering shape is a TROUSER JEAN that is fitted around the thigh, then just floats down through the rest of your leg- making you look loooong and lean!



ok, so obviously this model is a size PPHHH YEAH RIGHT, but SRSLY, these jeans are really flattering!!! this particular pair is from shopbop.com but trouser jeans are everywhere- i even found a few great pairs on sale at oldnavy.com for as little at $9.99!!

if you ever watch what not to wear, this is like, the FIRST thing they change every time... AND it's so easy to do! one little change that takes 10 years and 10 pounds off... why would NOT you make this switch?!?!?!

change your jeans to SMYLA and go from a mom with a FUPA* to a MILF* in 2.5 seconds flat.


*if you aren't familiar with these terms, feel free to email me... heh heh.

eyebrows are everything. period. pt. I.

"I had a lot of dates, but I decided to stay home and dye my eyebrows."


-Andy Warhol

eyebrows are everything. period.

this is definitely the first of MANY eyebrow entries. right now, for example, instead of charging money to my roommates and friends whose eyebrows i shape, the price is that you must be photographed for la cmblog.

so, i'll start with this: my go-to eyebrow product is Anastasia's Brow Pen from Sephora.No matter how dark or bold your eyebrows are already, you probably could still benefit from a pen like this, which would make your brows look more uniform in shape and color. I love this one because it's like a watered-down liquid liner that you can both see, but isn't harsh at all.

Actually, all of Anastasia's products are genius... but this is the one I've fallen the hardest for.

talk of what your eyebrow shape should be (a huge component of stooooppppMYLA) to come!!!

there are no words

so no splurging on anything this month... or ever again...


pepco is electricity here in the district... and APPARENTLY for the past 26 months our meter has been wrong.

my only words of wisdom are: move often to avoid being the one stuck with the bill.

we need a lawyer.

GRRRRRRRRR!!!!

even tink is changing it up...

tink updates her look

After nearly 50 years of wearing the same dated duds, Tinker Bell has finally gotten a makeover!

For the latest Tinker Bell flick, Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure, Pixar co-founder John Lasseter wanted to give Tink a stylish but practical outfit that reflected current trends but also the film's Autumn setting. "I began thinking what the costume design would be for each season," he says. "The weather is cooler [in fall], and her outfit should reflect that."

Clad in knee-high flat boots, tights, a mini skirt, capelet and hat, Tinker Bell is at the height of fall fairy fashion.

"We wanted to make Tink as real as possible in Lost Treasure," director Klay Hall said. "It made sense she was going to put on a jacket, leggings, and boots. This is sort of a new phase for Tink, and the look brings her up to the current feeling we are trying to convey."

The decision to update the iconic pixie's garb was not taken lightly; when a character's ensemble changes, so, too, do costumes of park and resort employees, as well as dolls and merchandise involving Tink. Fortunately, the changes have been well received so far, and the costumes worn by Disney workers will be made of organic, eco-friendly materials.

And while Tinker Bell's look may be updated, she hasn't lost her unique flare. "We wanted her to still be cute and charming, and not mess with who she was. You have to be careful," said Hall. "We kept her iconic white pompoms on her boots. I love those pompoms. They are what make her adorable."

Tinker Bell and the Lost Treasure hits stores October 27th.

Article from CocoPerez.com; Image courtesy of Disney.

so for a little reminder of what the old...errr, i mean classic, tink looked like:

i'm thinking that the updated tink is really more appropriate, for one, because who wears a strapless super-mini cocktail dress to do their pixie projects anymore?? the leggings and boots are a good call, the forest really can be a jungle sometimes.

i like that she kept her blunt bangs, but is anyone else wondering what is under that shawl? is her dress still strapless?? where are those sleeves attaching, because they're clearly a different color than the dress... and if i were tink (Disney, stop asking me to be a Princess, GEEZE, I've told you i have far too much on my plate right now to make little girls' dreams come true on a daily basis... riiiiiight) i would wear that rope belt at my waist, but tink's slender enough to wear it on her hips.

but everyone else, take note, when you wear a belt on your hips, you better have a flat stomach because you're drawing attention to the widest part of your bone structure. if you're like and and want to camouflage that area more than show it off, move your belt up to your natural waist (above your belly button) to emphasize its smallness (rather than your hips' wideness), then you can usually rouche whatever shirt you're wearing below the belt further drawing attention away from your tummy- WIN WIN!!

anyway, i think tink looks fabulous... but remember, not everyone looks good wearing that much green head to toe!

style file

how often do you find yourself standing in front of your closet (and if you're me, you're running late) having pulled 1/3 of your clothes out onto your floor trying to figure out what to wear and having come to the conclusion that you HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!????

my roommates are always running around complaining that they have nothing to wear, and i know for a fact their closets are packed (because we routinely borrow this and that from each other) with super cute items!!

well, i have a solution... or a plan for a solution to this ever-present problem: a style file.

now, let's work backwards from that moment when you're exacerbated and mad yourself for feeling like you own not one suitable outfit: this most likely stems from not having a well thought out closet (a closet that has lots of clothes, but they don't mix and match each other, thus not a lot of options).

and why might you not have a well thought out closet? because you're not shopping with the end result (being able to quickly pull out an outfit you feel smashing in) in mind!! so if shopping's the root of the problem, let's do a deep dive (shiiiit: lame work terminology) into shopping patterns.

now, when you go to the grocery store, you most likely take a list? i certainly do, because if i don't, i end up buying a bunch of junk food (can you say gushers and teddy grahams??) that i don't need, and couldn't have told you i wanted BEFORE i entered the store, but now i'm stuck with all this junk, because i didn't have a list.

the same goes for clothes shopping! you need a list or else you're likely to leave the store with junk that gets you (and your closet) nowhere!

but how do you know WHAT to put on that list?? well, let's start with that inevitable moment when you cry out, "I have nothing to wear!!"

I suggest literally keeping a list by your closet for you to write down what it is you're craving to put on, but don't own. To get it started now, think about your FAVORITE outfit that you always gravitate towards throwing on.

is it a great-fitting pair of jeans with a comfy loose-fitting top with a great print, but that's always dirty because you wear it at least once a week? guess what? YOU NEED ANOTHER. maybe not another pair of jeans, since jeans can be worn a few more times before needing to be washed, but you need more tops that you don't have to worry about feeling fat in.

now, i personally read fashion and beauty magazines. yes, it's a vice. however, it's probably the reason i'm writing this blog!! it all started in middle school because our fundraiser was a magazine drive every year. i had so many that i made the border around my bedroom walls covers of all the magazines i had accumulated. thus, i have been reading, studying and worshipping all things beauty and style related since my early adolescence.

because of this, one of the main ways i am inspired is through these glossy publications. so, i decided to put all of their great ideas to use for me, and started cutting and pasting.

cutting out outfits, styles, tips, products and looks that i want to buy, emulate, try to to just remember and pasting them into my very own STYLE FILE.
keep in mind, this is in addition to my my running list of things to buy: it's just more visually specific, (and pleassssing) and is more than just ideas i come up with, it's ideas from the experts. it started when i lived in my sorostitute house, hence the room 18, with my bestie, and continues today.


see that it's not only pieces of clothes or products that i want to buy in my style file- i'm putting in items that i think have flattering shapes, or are from a company that seems to make great clothes at a price i can afford, making more than just mental notes of places to shop, and items that i think i could incorporate into my wardrobe, i'm putting them in my style file!

it's also makeup looks that i'd like to try and recreate, be it a perfume advertisement that happens to have a model with an amazing shade of lipstick, or an actual beauty article about new eye shadow tips and tricks.

so start making your list of things you love and should probably own more of, taking note of things you see that you like, and soon, your wardrobe will become full of mixable matchable pieces so that you'll find yourself cursing the heavens in vain a whole lot LESS!

did they wear PJ's in 1492?

hope you're home celebrating boats that rhyme: the nina, the pinta & the santa maria!!!

my columbus day attire?

my new (on sale) old navy boots!

our house gets super freezing in the winter and it was time to find the perfect booties to keep my toes warm for the upcoming season.

our house gets SO cold that i knew i had to get slippers that pulled up over my ankles, and at only $15.50 on sale (and the fact that my roomies had them last year and loved them) these were perfect!

it's really fun to have house attire that you aren't embarrassed of- i mean, you never know who's going to knock on the door!! hello publisher's clearing house or just nosy neighbors??

i'm all about keeping old soft tee shirts, but with so many adorable, inexpensive lines at old navy, victorias secret and if you feel like digging, at Marshalls or Loehmanns you may just want to stay in your PJ's all day- during faux holidays or otherwise!!

ballsy, but well executed

i was driving up connecticut avenue the other day, which is a VERY aggressive road. it's one of the main thoroughfares in DC, so much so that during rush hour the number of lanes shift from three and three over to four and two in whichever direction the bulk of traffic is going. kinda genius, good job on that one ddot (SIDENOTE: ddot had a super fabulously clever logo, get it?? D-DOT?!?! more kudos.)

ANYWAY, so it's an aggressive road because you have to be looking for people slamming onto their brakes for the people who dare to take a left from the left hand lane, and people causing all kinds of drama in the far right lane if they find a parking spot that they then must PARALLEL PARK into... so you're thinking, oh, just drive in the middle lane... welllllll when that's everyone's plan, it gets more than a little crowded, and thus, let's just say, HEATED.

having lived in DC for three plus years now, i have become someone who uses my horn... kinda a lot. now, now, i'm NICE about it. like, if someone is clearly rumbling through their center console after a light has turned green, i'll give them the quick, "i'm not mad, i just want to let you know that the light changed" honk, i won't LAY ON IT. but, if i can tell someone is ABOUT to make a bad decision (yes, bad decision according to me, the SMARTEST DRIVER IN THE WORLD [everyone thinks that of themself whilst driving]) i'll also be the person who honks at them to let them know that their bad decision will affect others (me) and i don't want to hit them (have to brake even the slightest bit because of them).

anyway, i honk at least once a drive now.

it's not like i'm a quiet person in life, why should i be a quiet person in the car??!

ok, all this is besides the point. so, when i was driving up connecticut again today, trying to maneuver my way through the traffic, and frankly, doing a pretty poor job (sometimes you got it, and sometimes you don't and today, i didn't) my jaw literally dropped open when this car came up from behind me, cut over in front of me and proceded to zig zag through traffic like nobody's business. i immediately said,

"WOW, ballsy. but well executed."

true, this maniac wasn't driving defensively, but he or she was driving REALLY well aggressively.

and, i think the same can often be true of fashion!

when you want to branch out from your ole' faithful fashion, and try something new and perhaps ballsy, it's important to remember to execute flawlessly!!

for example, if you are always wearing neutrals, but have an itch to try the new color for the season- like right now purple is huge- if you just grab that old purple itchy sweater out of the back of your closet that doesn't fit like a glove like it used to, chances are, you're not going to feel confident in your foray into this more bold fashion statement because you've changed too many of the elements- changed the top shape, fabric and color you're used to wearing... and if you can't hold your head up high, rocking your outfit loud and proud, you'll NEVER look chic.

instead, go back to "ballsy but well executed," and maybe put on your go-to fabulosity outfit that you know you look amazing in, so that adding, let's say, a purple accessory, like a great pair of shoes, a bright bangle, or a fun bag brings a little trendy to something you already feel confident in. you're trying something new (which may turn into a go-to piece?!), and your outfit still works as a whole.

once you find what works for you as far as clothing shapes, fabrics and colors (alllll of which i'll get into, i promise) that's when you can start to play and experiment with trends within those realms.

now go drive balls to the wall to an execution... wait a minute... i think i got confuzzed again...

loves it / hates it

new segment on CMBlog: loves it/hates it.

get it? got it. good!

ok for the first installment...

LOVE that water has skin.

'nuff said.

HATE when people skip belt loops!

why is it so hard to put your belt through every single loop? aren't people checking as they go?? pretty sure i got this one from my fabulous mother, it's definitely one of her pet peeves, and boy is it a good one.

a life in transition

ok, so i know this little blog is supposed to be all about making yourself more attractive, which is one of my passions in life, but the other BIG thing going on in my life right now is my job search.

recap: i worked my first job out of college for one year; found a better job and worked there for two years, then got laid off, thanks to my co's acquisition, in june; enjoyed myself and my friends and my summer til about a month ago... and started legit looking for a job and freaking out juuuuust a little bit since that time.

so now i spend my days sending out resumes, writing thebombdotcom cover letters and networking, and my nights playing with my roommates, procrastinating going to the gym, and thinking about SMYLA, offf course.

reason i open this pandora's box? a friend sent me this blog that he thought i'd like, and i soooooo totally do!! so i thought y'all might too! (i can't help but rhyme, srsly, it just HAPPENS.)

the two most recent entries speak TO MY SOUL (yes, that's right, people who like to give constructive criticism to strangers have souls too.)

this post needs to be tattooed to my forehead... but backwards so that i can see it when i look in the mirror??... hmmm, scratch that, i need to read this EVERY morning to remember that with a little luck and a lot of dedication you can do anything you set your mind to- yah just gotta staaayyyy foooocused!!

her life may be in translation while mine's just in transition, but i need all the help i can get... hey, i'm not going to dish it out if i can't take it.

ok, happy tuesday. i'm going to go make stuff happen.

thanks to Logan for the blog tip!

YOLO

YOLO.

you
only
live
once.

that's right, words to live by. my friends and i stumbled upon YOLO a while back, and have since really made a point to grab life by the horns and YOLO as often as possible.

this weekend we yolo'd reallllly well. so well, in fact, that look who we met out on saturday night:


he brought the YO, kawf brought the LO. done and done my friends.

now, i'm usually not a proponent of wearing statement tees, especially whilst out- you want to speak for yourself, not let your clothes do the talking- but in some cases a statement tee can be what the master of meeting people, mystery the pickup artist, would call "peacocking."

Peacocking - Dressing to stand out, or to have an item of clothing or an accessory that looks interesting, allowing the girl to comment on it if she is interested in starting a conversation with you.

does this often break conventional fashion advice? yes. am i supporting it? not always. but i just wanted to put it out there- sometimes, looking ridiculous, is just the way to go. YOOOLOOO.

thanks to kate for looking beautiful, and all of my NYC hostesses with the mostesses this weekend!
neeeeewwwwww yoooooorrrrrrrkkkkk!!!!!

detective bemgant, on the case

so wayyyy back in november, as i was standing in line getting read to vote for the presidential candidate of choice... which, i shall leave unnamed because i want to stay neutral... who am i kidding??! i live in washington, dc for pete's sake!!! i LOVE OBAMA!!!!!!!!

so, as i am standing in line getting ready to vote, i have to admit i was pretty excited! i thought i might actually be voting for the WINNING candidate... i mean, i didn't know for sure who would win, obbbbviously, but having voted for the liberal candidate in every presidential election since i was 18, my guy had never won!!

anyway, i get to the front of the line, and tell the volunteer that my last name is BERNGARTT. B-E-R-N, like burn victim but burn with an E, then GARTT, like garter belt, but with two T's.

she's looking, looking, looking...(yes, I'm sure it's B-E, not B-U i tell her)... to no avail. i'm not listed! my chances of voting in the most exciting presidential election probably in my entire lifetime just got squashed!!!

she directs over to the misfits line, another line where i have to both vote and register, because i'm not listed in her little book. so i'm starting to get a tad nervous, wondering how being in this "special" line will effect my vote.

always prepared, i whip out my voter registration card to see that i'm in the right voting place, etc... and what do i find?

that CLAIRE BERNGARTT isn't registered to vote... CLAIRE BEMGANT is.

crap.

bemmmgannnnt? seriously???

i registered to vote via a check of a box when i got my DC drivers licence, so if they got my name right on my DL, why not on my voter registration??

so i put on my thinking cap in the rejects line and think...... and it comes to me.

because of my (excellent, if i do say so myself) penmanship, when i write berngartt, i sometimes connect the r and n, which could look like an m, and i connect the r and the t, which would look like an n, with the last t's cross just looking too long... (ok, so maybe my "excellent" penmanship failed me this one time...)

and it was at that moment that Detective Bemgant, was born.

eventually when i got to the front of my short bus line, in the same fell swoop i both changed my name from bemgant to berngartt and cast my vote to help prez obama win DC by 93%.

since that fine day, detective bemgant has been able to solve many a crime, such as, what broke in the dishwasher? (a glass.) where is the lock to our back gate ? (i accidentally took it to my car, whoops.) and what smells so bad in the fridge (old spinach.) it's a blessing and curse to be have detective bemgant constantly on the case- so detail oriented, yet no true crimes to challenge such a successful detective... untillll

DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNNNNN

the case of the PERFORATED PERFUME!!!!!

ok, so my roommate lizzard used to wear Dolce & Gabbana's Light Blue, until last week when she made the leap to D&G's new 3 l'Impératrice Eau de Toilette... don't ask me what that french means, basically they have all these new perfumes in random-seeming numbers... (they're both super yummy, clean, refreshing scents, by the way).

then, when lizzard went to use a spritz of her old light blue, she picked up the bottle but one corner stuck to the table and BAM!- the bottle broke along an arbitrary line and the rest of the perfume just poured out!!

it was as if the perfume melted through the glass bottle and fused the bottle itself to the painted wood of the table... which, is, at the least, improbable, and at the most, quite obviously impossible!!

see exhibit A: the fused corner

the words at the bottom even came off?!???

and getting that corner off the table took MORE than a little bit of elbow grease.

see exhibit B: the perforated perfume

but you know what?? no worries. detective bemgant's on the case.

and ms. liz and i already figured it out...

light blue was jealous of 3 and COMMITTED SUICIDE.

case cracked!

point is, you need a go-to scent, be it perfume, lotion, or after shave- everybody loves somebody who smells good!!!

long-winded way to get to that, eh?

breakfast inspiration

lately when cutting my grapefruits, i've done so using a huge carving knife.

why??

because it's all about dichotomy!!!

it's not like, oh, look at that prissy little girl taking 15 minutes to cut her grapefruit, it's like, who is that tough broad cutting her breakfast with a machete???

see how that works?

pairing opposites is also very important in fashion.

for example, if you need something to wear under your fall sweater, choose an opposite fabric, maybe a soft satin, or a crisp cotton to offset the nubbiness of your sweater.

par exemple:



jcrew does this really well. they have lots of looks on their website and in their catalogues of great pairings that create looks with many layers sans bulkiness and full of easy style.

take note! it's all about the cardigan this fall. i, personally, have always DIED for cardigans. they're so classically retro and feminine. i mean, you can do an animal print cardigan and it's no big thing, but take away those buttons and put that print on a sweater and you look ridiculous- i mean, what's that about??

anyway, i've said it before and i'll say it again: layers make you look tres chic (and they're super convenient!! i mean, can you say sweaty metro ride into a frigid office??)!! so when you're trying everything in your closet on with everything else, try your opposites, it'll surprise you how lovely it looks.

don't believe me?? well BACK OFF! i've got a big knife and i know how to use it!