9.29.09 is a galactic birthday

happpppy quarter of a CENTURY to the older (and wiser?) of the two new fantabulous sisters in 9 logan, ms. molly!

here's to teaching immature kids all week, and acting like one on the weekends.

but really, i think your cute li'l bit said it best:


the entire galaxy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know it's cliche, but kids REALLY DO say the darndest things!!!!

the grass is always blonder

so the grass is always greener on the other side, right? well, in my case, that means that i've always been a brunette, and thus always fantasized about the lighter side of life... as a BLONDE.

now, i neither have the funds nor the discipline to keep up with highlights right now, so how do i satiate my desire for change???

INSTYLE.COM MAKEOVERS!!!!

omg, this is the most fun site EVER. i even tricked my aunt into thinking i had ACTUALLY gone blonde once when i sent my 'rents a pic of me with cameron diaz's hair on!!

so all you do is upload a photo of yourself without any hair in your face and you can try on every celeb hairstyle under the sun. they've also added makeup, so you can try on entire celeb looks.

here's my before, for comparison's sake. thanks tlm and tru for peekin' in my picture.

so when kim kardashian went from dark dark brown, maybe even black hair, to blonde i was super jeally! i thought she was one of those people that HAD to have brown hair, but she looked super great and summery with her dark blonde/light brown highlights!

and here i am with her hair! i like it! i think it brightens up my entire face. am i going to do it... well, not right now, but maybe??

now i had always thought that if i went blonder, it would be darker blonde.... say, like, gisele bundchen's hair.

gisele not only has great hair color, but great hair. i would be lucky to have this kind of volume any day... so i must remember, it'd be this COLOR not this HAIR.

but still, mmmm, i love her light warm brown!

now here's someone's hair that is categorically blonde, blake lively.

and i still like it! i know i am clearly trying on very similar hair styles, but hey it's all hypothetical here, so my hypothetical hair can be whatever it wants to be.

i think my eyebrows are light enough to not make me look like a crazy bottle blonde...

but just to switch up the style, here i am in reese witherspoon's adorable bangs!!!

i never considered bangs, because my hair's really fine, and thus has a tendency to lie flat on my head, which in the bang world means greasy greasy greasy- so they just seemed like more work than they were worth, but these are kinda cute??

i think this would be a MUCH harder cut to actually get than it looks- i mean, her bangs are all different lengths and they're styled really well so that they separate all on their own... mee likey, but mee not readyy.

another thing you can do is FLIP each hair style, so you can finally figure out which side you should be parting your hair on!! i usually part my hair, or in this case, mamma mia's amanda seyfried's hair, on the right (first pic) but am not looking like a complete alien in the second picture with it parted on the left! i've even been considering rocking the middle part every once and while... but my middle part debut is still TBD...

here's not just vanessa hudgens hair, but her makeup too!

see, i told you this site is RIDICULOUSLY fun!

bold lips paired with bold bangs?? i love it! but this is a VERY stylized (read: ballsy) look to pull off!!

i don't love my jawline with bangs, but these bangs are so long, you could easily brush them to the side for soft side bangs anytime i felt like i had fat face.... something to think about!!

and finally, i will leave you with my favorite look yet...

yup. kate gosselin.

i mean, what's NOT to love??? the spikes in the back or the fact that it looks like a toupee?

hope you enjoyed all these pictures of me (a self-absorbed blogger, whhaaattt??), and you should really play with this for yourself!!

but, if you happen to be employed/don't have enough time or patience to play on your own, send me your pic and i'll do it for you!!

SRSLY!

cmblog.blogspot@gmail.com

naked as a jay walker

i tend to mix up common sayings. like... a lot. they just come out of my mouth before i can unscramble them.

like last night my roommate megan and i were watching that new show fastforward and the main guy (from shakespeare in love!!) starts drinking again, and megan said, "Aw man, he's hitting the sauce." to which i replied, "i guess he's off the bandwagon."

whoopsies! heh heh.

can't say it's the first time it's happened. i'll tell you my favorite Sunday night saying at a later date.

the first saying i remember totally confusing is jay walking. simple enough you think?? well, for some reason, as a kid... and maybe into my young adult life... i thought jay walking meant getting caught by the police walking around naked as a jay bird!! so, i still giggle when anyone mentions jay walking, because i can't HELP but picture them in their birthday suite!

so, while i obviously don't recommend walking around nekkid, i DO recommend rocking an awesome naked-dress!! now, i'm not talking SEE THROUGH, i'm talking about a dress in a skin-ish color, think Carrie's dress on the side of the bus from SATC.

Now, this doesn't have to be a daring look to pull off, get whatever shape suites you, and remember we all have different skin tones!

I found this one at American Apparel, and while it blends with my skin color, you might need a pink, or peach, or alabaster, or brown- you get the idea (and i maintain that this is a dress, not a ballerina costume... or maybe a dance outfit that totalllly works as a dress).

just accessorize and you'll look ridiculously chic and like an ethereal goddess... and ALWAYS walk in the crosswalk. you don't want to be arrested for being naked as a jay walker.

life has a TWO sock maximum

a pretty grool video that illustrates a very important SMYLA concept:

never stuff a sock down your pants. not only is it never a good look, but later, you'll have some major 'splainin to do.



and for those of you as dense as i, no, those aren't sextuplets (one's cut out on the far right... whoopsies), it's the same guy doing all the parts... that seriously took me an embarrassingly long time (reading his bio) to come to that conclusion...

thanks DAB for the vid!

become a tan-in-a-can fan

so with the end of summer, comes the end of sunning ourselves outside. i, for one, will sorely miss basking in the glow of the hot summer sun for hours on end, drinking bloody marys and mimosas on our back porch... or in dupont circle... or on the skydeck... or at chet and adam's pool... or... is it just me or am i an alcoholic?? (don't answer that, mom.)

anyway, the only kind of addiction i'm aware of (achem, will admit to) is being a sunoholic. if you're addicted to SWEET SWEET VITAMIN D like i am, it's time to realize that youth is fleeting, tanning beds are SOOO 1999, and self-tanners are just so freakin' quality now that it's time to switch from the fake-n-bake to tan-in-a-can.

(and can we all just reflect on how happy we are science is taking time out of it's busy cancer-fighting schedule to come up with all these amazing new products?? i've said it before, and i'll say it again: thank you science, thank you.)

so, i've ixnayed the anningtay edbay for two winters now. that's right, i've forgone UVA and UVB rays for 1/4 of two consecutive years. where's my prize? oh, that's right. crows feet 3.5 months later than all you other year-round tannerexics. (i'm still working on my summer-sun addiction. i'll come around, i will… eventually.)

ok. so i've decided that my favorite, HANDS DOWN, drugstore brand when it comes to faux tanning products is L'Oreal. I love their tanning towellettes.

They are SUPER easy to use. One towel does your whole body, so you never end up too orange or streaky.

I always start with my chest and shoulders then do my legs from the feet up, then my arms, then my back, then my tummy (kind of my skin, in order of appearance). The towelettes are the juiciest (like I sidestepped the need for the word moist?... whoops) in the beginning, which is why I start where I want the most color. Before it feels completely dried up, I make sure to do a quick swipe on my face, but definitely don’t start with that because this product is only marketed for the body… but I’ve never had an adverse reaction. It dries really quickly, so you don’t have to wait around in your bathroom for any more time than it takes to apply! I’ve also never seen it in any color but medium, but I’ve seen this color look great on people of lots of different skin tones.

The first L’Oreal self tanning product I ever purchased (and kept me coming back for more) was the bronze tinted self-tanning lotion, which I love because you get a little darker and slightly sparkly when you apply it, so I would always use it after I got out of the shower the night OF an event. This way, your skin’s a little sparkly, and you just get more and MORE tan as the night goes on. Obvious downside is that if you do a sloppy job applying it (can you say preformal sophomore year??) you can get streakier and streakier as the night goes on, because this product has the consistency of a thin lotion, so, it will streak if you don’t apply it evenly. However, since it’s bronzed, you can see where you’re applying it, so it’s not hard to keep if from streaking.

Now, I’ve never been one to do something halfway… so when I tried this last weekend it instantly became my new JAM: the L’Oreal bronzer self-tanning lotion, which takes “a little sparkly” to the next level… so, I guess that would be, “legit sparkly.” I was instantly tan and sparkled all night… downsides were that it took a little longer to dry and when I was sweating at the gym the next day, it totally pooled at my elbows and came off on my towel… but that’s to be expected to a certain extent with tan-in-a-can lotions.

if you’re more about using a daily lotion that builds your tan gradually, but doesn’t have insta-bronzers that will embarrass you at the gym, my mom turned me on to nivea build a tan lotion. It comes out a golden color, works really well, and smells a lot better than other tanning lotions I’ve tried… but still a wee little bit like a tanning lotion.

we'll talk about getting spray tanned later... that's a whole 'nother ball game.

so, if you're like most people who look better with a tan (there are VERY few marcia crosses or dita von teeses out there) then go get some products and have yourself a few naked hours in your bathroom so that you don't have to get the pale winter blues this year!!

and guess what else tan-in-a-can is great for? pretending to be tan in allllllll those places you NEVER get tan. goodbye cellulite, hellllllllo tan ass. slip something risque and enjoy it! your ass won't be this tan until... next winter!

autumn's officially here

Angel Dumont Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.

What, not the first-day-of-fall quote you were expecting?


quote from RENT

gimmemmy

so the roomies and i watched the 2009 emmys last night and we realized that there's been some really amazing tv this year... and that we can't remember life before dvr (YOU CAN CONTROL TIME).

sooooo here are just a few of the dresses and my thoughts. am i rachel zoe or what? i DIE.

THE RED COATS ARE COMING

Blake Lively: OK, so i feel like everyone will be talking about this dress because she's showing off the goods (and YES she has great goods) but really, other than that? tres boring. we see her ta tas every week on gossip girl.

love the nude shoe, at least she realized that with a dress cut down to there and a slit up to there she didn't need a statement shoe.

and why didn't she get her roots done before the emmys?

blake's a hottie. moving on.

Debra Messing: i love Debra Messing, and she actually has been styled by Rachel Zoe in the past, but i'm not DIEING for this dress.

i LOVE that she's like, "being a red head is NOT going to keep me from wearing a fun red dress." (this is me talking to deb in my head, mind you) but i don't like how high the neck is on this one shoulder, with the arm hole basically looking like a muscle tee.

enjoying the twist in the middle, and her rockin' bod and her makeup is gorg.

buuuut it's not enough to make me love this entire look.

Hayden Panettiere: my roomie, lizzard, literally said, "she never dresses her age," when we saw hayden for the first time. seriously, she's 20 years old! she can't even sip champagne, and this dress isn't helping her look youthful in the least.

i don't like the straight top- it looks too tight. i don't like the necklace, it's too short and again, ages her. don't love the bag- it doesn't tie into the entire look.

i loved hayden in remember the titans, but not tonight.

OHHHH NOOO

Christina Applegate: she is fabulous, and this navy is a surprisingly great color on her, but i'm so CONFUZZED by this dress!!

why is there a cut out in the middle?

and is one of the bands cutting her boob off in the middle?

i'm just confused by what this dress is supposed to be conveying... super sexy or pretty soft draping?

samantha who told you to wear this dress.

Kristin Chenoweth: um, did anyone tell her that the emmys is kind of a big deal and you should be wearing a gown? ESPECIALLY when you're nominated??

so kristin is only 4'11" so i get why she wanted to show some leg, but really? she looks like she could be out for a night on the town in vegas... or atlantic city for that matter!

and there are shear cut outs on the side of this dress. ridiculous, no?

and now that she's put all this focus on her legs and thus shoes... and then THAT'S the shoe she chooses? ugghhh galinda, please!!!

but the good news is that she looks amazing. fashion aside, she's gorgeous, vibrant, and happy. i'll never not love the original good witch.

Mila Kunis: Seriously? Seriously Mila??

Mila is one of my new girl crushes ever since Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but WHY did she choose this??

She looks like she's going to walk onto the Sweeney Todd set.

Too much tulle, and its a ridiculous length. Long or short?? oh, can't decide, let's just do a little of each.

I like that it has a belt to define her waist, but that's about it.

WELL PLAYED LADIES

Drew Barrymore: love the nudey, peachy dress. love it paired with the red lip. so pretty, so light.

it reminds me of one of my favorite red carpet dress of all times, thank you so much penelope cruz for giving us this.










Kate Walsh: I think she looks great, and like she just happens to look this great. The color is phenomenal on her, and the soft color paired with the pretty draping is just stellar.

The bust may be a little too small- when she was on stage we were a little worried something might pop out, but nip slip averted, dress still fabulous.





Sandra Oh: Mmmmm, loving this gold dress. Because of her skin tone, it almost looks like a nude.

Her silhouette looks insane, though I really don't know how she was able to walk or sit.

But beauty is PAIN people.

I don't know if I'm 100% on the low slung rope belt- but it by no means ruins this look.

Sandra looks like a golden goddess.

Toni Collette: 1. I LOVE the United States of Tara, on Showtime.
2. I LOVE that she WON!!
3. I LOVE this gown!

The color, the fit.

perfection, perfection, perfection.

and now my favorite of the entire evening...

it's daring, it's different, and I think it's utterly perfect...
JANUARY JONES

The entire cast of Mad Men were winners last night, but JJ looks unstoppable in this pale green gown that is not just gorgeous on her, it keeps you thinking!

The sculpted shape makes is perfect for her frame and the geometric beading is different in general and oh so flattering!

Mmmmm, mad men is yet again THEE show of the season for their writing, cast, and of course, styyyle!

photos courtesy of e!online

love is beautiful... love and diamonds

sandy irene garris wood proving that being in love makes you beautiful. that sparkler on her finger is branden proving that diamonds never hurt either.

magiclinique

Clinique print commercials are usually just beauty shots of their makeup, rather than of beautiful women wearing their makeup, did you ever notice that?



Mee likey!

I feel like their choice to put just their products in front of the camera is an over-arching statement about Clinique in general; that they're taking responsibility for what messages they're willing to put out into the world via their advertising. OK, now I'll slide my soapbox back under my bed...

Why I bring up Clinique?? Simple. Their eye-makeup remover.

I was very loyal to the Maybelline kind (especially after they fixed their lids from screw-tops to flip tops circa 2003, so that I didn't end up spilling half the bottle all over the bathroom) but then I had an unfortunately incident with waterproof mascara (I don't want to TALK about it) last week, and my roommate, sp8, let me use some of her Clinique.

Needless to say, I was skeptical, because I basically worshipped the Maybelline version (I have been using it since middle school, seriously) until I swiped the Clinique over my eyes and the felt the smooth combination of oil and water 100% dissolve the most stubborn waterproof mascara I had ever worn, right off my eyes!!!

No scrubbing, no burning, no nothin' but magic in a bottle.

The main difference, I assume, is that the Clinique kind I used was not oil free, while the Maybelline was. However, it didn't irritate my eyes in the least, as ones with oil usually do (Clinique is known for being gentle and all). They have a few different kinds of eye makeup removers, but this "purple" version is the most popular (read: best of the best).

Now, I did some math (yeah, that's right, I math) and the Clinique is twice as expensive as the Maybelline, at just over $4 per ounce vs. just over $2 per ounce. So, depending on your budget, (WWPPD) I could totally see using the Maybelline on an everyday basis and just keeping a small or travel size Clinique around for those really caked on morning-afters.

... And one little afterthought: make sure you're not using waterproof mascara EVERY day. There's no need... unless you have oddly moist (ew, does ANYone like that word?) peepers.

Waterproof mascara dries out your lashes, and as illustrated previously, is really hard to get off!! So you end up with it on for days on end- which is just a breeding ground for bacteria. Wear it to weddings, and to the beach if you're so inclined, but otherwise, steer clear!!

twenty five years young

happppppy birthday to tes, the most talented, creative and inspired ginger i know.

and to briggles, my first friend in a new state who has become a pretty big deal in the district.

welcome to 25. you can officially scoff when someone asks to see your ID.

image via Amanda Clouse

when in rome, dress like a hipster

going to be rockin' skinny jeans, american apparel deep v tee, flats, and my new tiny GA and NC necklaces (thanks ktj!!!) like it's any other wednesday night and i'm too cool for school to put on anything too special. totally hipster (well, as hipster as i get).

i'll be able to keep up the "i'm so hipster and thus bored" facade until juuuust before matt & kim take the stage... then i'll be squealing like a li'l pig who just found out it got adopted by george clooney. (lucky, lucky max).

point: utilize: when in rome!! dress the part! it's a fun way to wear something in the back of your closet that you really love, but never have the opportunity to pull out!

picture perfect

OK, get excited. This is one of the BEST tips and tricks EVER.

Drum roll please...........................................................................

THE 3/4 RULE!!! One of THEE most flattering angles in pictures, very easy to do, you eliminate "fat face," as my roommate calls it, and basically it makes taking a GREAT picture EVERY time totally possible!!

The Theory:

When taking a picture, you want to turn your head to the side so that 3/4 of one side of your face and just 1/4 of the other side is facing the camera. Both eyes should still be visible (if you can't see your back eye in the picture, you've turned your head too far), and VOILA!

You instantly elongate your face by drawing the eye from forehead to chin, rather than from cheek to cheek. Did you just loose 10 lbs? I think so! Also, most people have slightly asymmetrical features, which this totally camouflages.

Examples:

from straight on, to 3/4


mmm, good wine... I mean, much better at 3/4


even blondes can do 3/4!


3/4 from the side and over the shoulder... either shoulder!

• Another BIG no no is pulling your chin to your chest, thus creating a double chin. I know that sounds obvious, because who in their right mind wants to CREATE a double chin, but when people get nervous in front of the camera it's a reflex that happens more often than it should (um, never!?!) in an effort to look cute and comfortable.
  
  Make sure you pull your chin out (not UP but OUT) away from your neck, and guess what?? Master it and no one will think you're imitating a chicken in pictures!! Seriously! It just creates a greater shadow under your chin, and BAM! Lost another 3 lbs.
  
  
• One last surprisingly flattering angle that will to eliminate those always unflattering self-taken photos, is instead of holding the camera directly out in front of you, hold it straight up in the air. This way, you are looking up at the camera, enabling you to peek out from under your lashes, with the bulk of your face diminishing as it gets further away from the camera, making what used to be the WORST angles one of the best: not only slimming, but a little flirty!
  
  
• This one I know Tyra Banks says, but I SWEAR I was said it first: smile with your eyes.
  
  Sounds crazy, right? However, a lot of people raise their eyebrows in pictures. This just changes how you look, rather than smiling with your eyes, which actually enhances how you look.
  
  To practice smiling with your eyes, look in the mirror and smile with JUST your mouth, as if the rest of your face is dead (your smile will probably look a little creepy) then keeping your smile in place, smile with the rest of your face, as if you're really HAPPY- smile with joy- and you should be smiling with your eyes!
  
  Remember, it's OK if your eyes get smaller when you smile! That's what's supposed to happen!! It's more important to look HAPPY!
  

Now, like every other skill, taking a perfect picture takes practice. Don't be shy!! Go stand in front of your mirror and find some poses that work for you!

What's your better side?? Can you raise one eyebrow but not the other? Does one side of your smile get bigger than the other? (Did you know those are true for me??!) Which side to you part your hair on? These are all things to think about.

Then, when you get in front of the camera, remember your tricks, but mostly HAVE FUN- because that will always come across as beautiful- but if you can have fun AND remember these tricks?? You'll look like a supermodel.

thanks to my supermodel friends, Ry and Gabs.

dirty dancing lives on

Texts between my brother and me late yesternight:


So, there's really no time like the present to pay homage to one of the best movies of all time (Dirty Dancing, DUH), and the sincerest form of flattery is imitation, right??

If it's still warm enough where you are, dare to pull a Baby Houseman and wear this (which all just HAPPENS to be back in style... weird):

American Apparel Bodysuit, Forever 21 Denim Shorts, Abercrombie & Fitch Braided Leather Belt, Urban Outfitter Sneaker

Best way to update the look for a night out on the town this fall??? Sub skinny dark jeans in for the shorts, and a pair of gladiator heels in for the sneaks... then (dare i say it??) go DIRTY DANCING.

image via Danish blogger jeanettd

when in doubt, black and white it out.

Black and White. Noir et Blanc. Negro y Blanco. . classic, classic, classic, classic.

These opposites have attracted and will continue to attract forever. I mean, there's an entire store based on this concept!

Not only can you pair solid black and white items, but black and white prints... unless animal... are almost always the perfect combination of,

"Hey I'm a loud, fun print," and, "I'm classy and put together."

I mean what could be better for that big meeting/interview/networking happy hour; the combo of being an individual who clearly stands out, but is still clearly inside the realms of what's acceptable... making you uuber trendy AND trustworthy??

BLACK PAIRED WITH WHITE BABBBBYYYYYY.

Now, just make sure to never tell the Rainbow Brite about my black and white theory, she would NEVER forgive me... and I can't even begin to think of what this could do to Starlite!!

"A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful."

- Karl Kraus

thanks, karl.

WWPPD vs. the perfect fall boot

Due to my cheery disposition, my mom feels it's necessary to start emails out with "Don't get pissed..." just to try and prevent me from deleting it immediately. I have to say, she has a good point, and I do enjoy altering religious sayings to serve my own needs.


Riiiiiight. Grrrrr.

POINT IS, online browsing is FREE and my at-home PedEgged li'l piggies are craving this recent find: the perfect fall boot!

Love the rouching above the toe, love the buckle at the ankle, love the substantial-I can walk all over the city on this- heel, and love the beautiful worn saddle color of the leather. Love the almond toe-shape- it just looks more natural, and can make even my 8 1/2 sized feet feel super petite and cute!

Frye does boots like nobody's busines.

YUM! WWPPD? YUM! WWPPD?? YUM! WWPPD?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

To look street chic, and not like a streetwalker, in your boots this season: the higher the heel, the thicker it should be. I could see a winter-work boot with a thin, inch/inch and a half heel, but taller than that, and it needs to have some substance.

If you have pointy toed, super high stiletto heels in your closet, either save them for their inevitable revival in years to come (if they're high quality and will last) or donate them to your local consignment/thrift store!! It's time to update, and a new pair of beautiful boots is THEE way to update any look!

... maybe this PP will be able to buy great boots at the end-of-season sales for next year? in which case, i'll just HAVE to keep my eyes browsing the interweb!!!

hap.py.birf.day!

happy birthday to my Aunt Mimi, who was born just a feeeew years before 9/11 meant anything other than her birthday...

you're beautiful, smart, hilarious, a great mother, a great sister, and an even greater aunt!

way to represent the Allens.

i'll always be an Allen... at Char Grill, at least.

-your claiby bear

NOW if it's YOUR birthday, and you're not as naturally beautiful as my Aunt, you should spice up your day with a fun yet inexpensive beauty treat!!

Something that will make your friends say, "You look faboulous today! What did you do differently?" Would be a great application of lipgloss!

That's right, lipGLOSS, not lipSTICK, which is why people are wondering why you look so great, not complementing your lipstick specifically.

I'm in LOVE with Neutrogena MoistureShine Lipglosses, and I think the color Razzle would be the perfect birthday treat to YOURSELF!!!

Just remember, if you're playing up your lips, you need no more than a little eyeliner and mascara on your eyes- let's keep the focus on your smoochericious pucker!!

Afterall, what's a birthday without embarrasing displays of affection??!

being dumb but looking smart

I got a stupid parking ticket. I parked my car on this specific street because it wasn't going to be cleaned until Wednesday (in DC each street is cleaned once per week and you can't be parked there for that two hour period) and when I checked the sweeping times on the sign after I parked, I was extremely surprised for it to read that the cleaning would be from 9:30 PM until 11:30 PM.

That's kinda late for the sweeper trucks to be rumbling down the roads- especially when all the other streets are cleaned in the early morning or afternoon... but whatevs, maybe there are sweeper people who are night owls, like me!?!? The sign said it, so I believed it.

LIKE.A.CHUMP.

So Wednesday at 9:18 PM I leave my vegetables roasting in the oven (which is DELICIOUS, p.s. and totally my new jam) while I run out to my car to move it, like the good Samaritan I am.

AND I SEE THAT I'VE GOTTEN A TICKET.

Because apparently, as stated on the ticket, street cleaning was Wednesday from 9:30 AM to 11: 30 AM. AM. As in.... Wait... what DO AM and PM stand for?? No time to google, moving on...

"LIIIEEEESSSSS!" I cry out into the night.

But then I go look at the sign, and I see that it has VERY CAREFULLY been altered by some mischevious vandal with a laser printer, an exacto knife and clear packing tape. WTF???

Who would do this?? This isn't a prank you anxiously watch happen from your window or catch on video and put on YouTube. This is just mean... or pointless, I can't decide which. Either way, I'm the sucker.

In any case, I'm OBVIOUSLY contesting it. In DC there are two ways to contest it: by mail, or in person.

Guess which I'm going to do? That's right, in person.

Why? Because I can wear a smart outfit to help me win my case (and bring way too many pictures from the scene of the crime).

When you need to look smart and in control- remember to layer! Your outfit instantly looks more polished and thus you look more thoughtful...aka, smart!

What I will be wearing?

• Dark grey slacks with a nice crease down the front (to emphasize that I take care of my clothes and would NEVER park in a street sweeper spot intentionally, Your Honor)
• with a skinny black belt through the loops
• with a pretty blouse (it never hurts to look feminine) tucked in.
• I'll be bringing a blazer, but if I start sweating (nerves, you know?) I will take it off and drape it over my arm.
• A short, chunky beaded black necklace to tie in the belt and shoes
• which will be inch, inch and a half black heels, probably with gold accents,
• and gold studs in my ears.
• Hair pulled back (I know I know we women like to wear our hair down once we've put so much energy into blow drying etc. to it, but wearing it back makes you look more serious)
• and if I had glasses, I'd definitely go with glasses. smartSMARTYSMARTER!
  
• Black bag, though it could be a more fun color as long as the bag is structured- this is not the time for your new jewel tone hobo bag with fringe.
  

I'm going to be sweet, but serious. THE METICULOUS VANDALS DON'T STAND A CHANCE!!!!

I'll let you know how it goes.

how to get a great haircut

I've needed a haircut for the past three months, but still haven't gotten on it because... well, because I'm lazy... OK, lazy and broke. But, when it comes time to get a haircut, you better believe I'm going to do it RIGHT.

Follow these tips to getting a great haircut, not just the first time, but every time.

1. Get a recommendation. This is how most people go about it, but remember to get the recommendation from the RIGHT person. Yes, you should admire whomever’s hair- but for what reasons??
   
   The person with the most enviable hair in the office may have great highlights, but if you’re not getting highlights, he/she may not be the one to ask. People who get their hair colored are most likely used to spending $200-300 per visit, and the focus is on the color, not the cut- so you’d be better off asking someone whose cut you admire, specifically if their hair is a similar texture to yours.
   
   You may love your friend’s blunt bangs, but if her hair is pin-straight and extremely fine, while you’ve got over two pounds of wavy, thick hair sitting on your hair, you’re not envious of her haircut, but of her hair.
   
   Accept what you’ve got to work with, even though the grass is always greener, and you’ll end up with a cut that she wishes SHE could emulate.
   
   
2. Yes, they wash your hair when you go to get it cut, but do NOT go in there with greasy, grimy hair twisted up in a disgusting knot. If you’re going to a new stylist for the first time, you have to look the part that you want your hair to look. When I made an appointment right after work and showed up in my uber conservative clothes and asked for a shoulder-length bob, I got a mom-of-the-year haircut above my chin. This wasn’t because my stylist didn’t listen to me, but the image I was projecting stuck in her head, so as she’s making strand-by strand decisions, she (and rightly so) made it match my image.
   
   If you pull your hair back all week at work and at the gym, but live for the weekends when you blow-dry, straighten, curl and style your hair, then throw on a pair of jeans and a funky necklace before heading to the salon, so that when you’re explaining what you want, to the stylist, he/she can see how it would look on you in the clothes you’d be wearing.
   
   This will also help the stylist at the end of the appointment actually style your hair in a way that you can do again, and a way that actually looks good.
   
   Hair stylists seem to have their own opinions about what’s in fashion (yeah, that's another post all in and of itself), so make sure to exude your own fashion sense so that you don’t have to walk out of the salon with teased hair that’s hair-sprayed into a helmet.
   
   
3. Bring a picture. Nothing can show a stylist what you want better than actually showing him/her what you want!
   
   You don’t have to love everything about a picture of a celebrity’s or friend’s hair. It can be like building your own Mr. Perfect- with Brad Pitt’s bone structure, George Clooney’s voice, and Zac Efron’s eye’s, you’ve got the perfect man!
   
   So, bring in a picture of bangs you just love, as well as a picture of layers that you want, and if you wear your hair up a lot, also bring in a picture of how you want your hair to look pulled back... and DON'T be afraid to get them out. I can't tell you how many times I've sat in the chair using every adjective under the sun trying to describe what I want, when I have picture's of Nicole Richie's bangs just SITTING in my purse. Walk in with the pictures in your hand so you don't chicken out. Be brave, which leads me to my final point...
   
   
4. Don’t be afraid to say something! In most cases, you know your hair better than this stylist. You know where your cowlicks are, and you know how your hair inevitably ends up falling.
   
   So if as your stylist is cutting bangs and you think they’re looking too long and you’ll just end up tucking them behind your ear and when you get home or you’ll end up trimming them yourself- then say something.
   
   This will not hurt your stylist’s feelings, and he/she will NOT take it out on you by chopping up the rest of your hair, this will just ensure you get what you want!
   
   Also, do not wait until the very end when the stylist turns you around and hands you a mirror to see the back of your hair to ask for corrections. As you can see he/she is finishing, ask vague questions, “Is this piece always going to fall here?” Give directions to the stylist, like, “I’m really going for voluminous hair, so could add some shorter layers?”
   
   This way when you do get spun around to see your new do, you're happy as a clam... but hopefully looking hot as a tamale!!

Just remember to take part in your haircut!! You're the one who's going to have to live with your hair after you leave the salon... which brings me to my final point (I sweeeear) you wear your hair every day- EVERY DAY!! So, make sure you LOVE it, and hey, at the end of the day, if you get an awful haircut... hair grows!!